This post was first published on the 4th of January, 2012.
I don’t make them*. Fin. Shortest post ever.
*The last New Year’s Resolution I made, several years back, was to never again make a New Year’s Resolution. It’s the only resolution I’ve successfully maintained, and the one that made the most logical sense. I shove typical New Year’s Resolutions into one of two categories, and I don’t think either category plays well with human nature.
Category One: Unlikely Changes.
Get Out of Debt
To maintain any of these resolutions long-term requires a significant life change, and that isn’t something most human beings are wired to undertake in the absence of equally significant pressures. It is, of course, absolutely possible to attain every single one of those goals – but it’s pretty unlikely if the only motivation to do so is an arbitrary social expectation tied to the dropping of a glittery ball. The concept behind “rock bottom” motivating lasting change doesn’t only apply to addicts.
Category Two: Vague Goals.
Spend More Time With Family and Friends
Live Life to the Fullest
Help Those Less Fortunate
Be More Compassionate
Great ideas in concept, but virtually useless in practice. Half of these concepts lack any meaningful measure of progress, and the other half can’t even be concretely defined. In my opinion, these aren’t even resolutions, they’re feel-good-isms; fluffy pronouncements that you intend to improve yourself in some fuzzy way that steadfastly resists any attempt at accountability. Admirable, but unobtainable by nature.
Fuck that noise. I’m not going to wrack my brain every year trying to come up with some gold-standard resolution that’s significant enough to placate those who inquire, but vapid enough that my self-esteem won’t be terribly damaged when I ultimately fail to maintain it. Sorry, society. I’ve rejected your merry-go-round of cyclical optimism and disappointment.
This post was first published on the 10th of August, 2012
Today was my last day as an administrative assistant, and August 20th will be my first day as a full-time student.
Today represents an end to the financial security I’ve been so lucky to have. It represents the end of bi-monthly paychecks that actually covered the bills, “free” health insurance, and annual bonuses. It represents the end of a familiar routine and the security that comes with a position one is adept at. It represents the beginning of a new form of social insecurity as a “non-traditional student” on campus. It represents fear and doubt and hope and anticipation. It represents the possibility of a future in which I can spend my days immersed in a field that lights my shit right right up. It represents the possibility of failure and its consequences. It represents an adventure of exploration and discovery and stress and worry. It represents change and growth. It represents the person I’ve become and the person I want to be.
I think I may be in shock.
This post was published two years ago today. These past two years haven’t always been easy, and the years that follow promise to hold even greater challenges, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. At this point in my studies, I feel an odd kinship with Alice on her way to Wonderland; I’ve already experienced the panic associated with falling down the rabbit hole and, while I’ve yet to land, I’ve become somewhat comfortable with my descent.”
Think of an animal with bone-crushing jaws capable of striking faster than a pissed-off cobra.
Anyone thinking of a giant, flat, soft-shelled turtle that spends the vast majority (up to 95%) of its life buried in soft aquatic muck with only its snoutish nose revealed? Anyone? Well, good on you if you were, because the frog-faced softshell turtle fits the badass bill, beating out the cobra as one of the fastest striking animals on the planet.
“Come closer and call me “frog-faced”. I dare ya’.”
Frost wedging is the proverbial red-headed stepchild of the erosion family. Not nearly as likely to create the breathtaking sculptures attributed to its brethren wind and water erosion, frost wedging isn’t typically considered a boon to the tourism industry – with at least one notable exception: Split Apple Rock in New Zealand. While local legend credits the splitting of this massive boulder to a dispute between gods, this much photographed feature is most likely the result of frost wedging; the repeated intrusion of water into cracks within rock that exerts outward pressure as the water expands upon freezing.
Part of frost wedging’s “Angst in Tranquility” series
How’s a male giraffe to know if a nearby female might be willing to accept his sexual advances? Why, he nudges her butt until she pees and takes a little taste, of course. The technical term for this is the “Flehmen sequence”, and it’s how the male giraffe determines whether or not the female is in heat. The non-technical term is “golden shower cocktail”, and it’s how the male giraffe grosses me out.
That’s right, Mr. Giraffe. I’m judging you.
A single gene known as ectodysplasin A (EDA) is responsible for the development of all skin accessory organs – finger/toenails, hair, teeth, and various glands. Mutations in this gene results in hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, a disorder which affects some 1 in 17,000 individuals worldwide. Actor Michael Berryman is arguably the most famous person with the genetic disorder, which left him without sweat glands, hair, teeth, and all but two fingernails.
Click pic for Wiki.
The largest dinosaur known to man was Argentinosaurus huinculensis, which is thought to have weighed in at around 90 tonnes, about as much as 15 T. rex , but this is nothing compared to the largest animal known to man. The blue whale nearly doubles that tonnage. In fact, it’s so damn huge it could fit the entire 90 tonnes of Argentinosaurus in its mouth when fully extended. All at once. Like… the whole damn dinosaur.
Click the pic for more comparisons.
Male dromedary camels come equipped with a lady lure called the dulla, a specialized throat organ. When a male spots a female he fancies, or a male he wants to challenge, he inflates this membranous sack, extends it from his mouth coated in frothy saliva, and… gargles. Mmmm… sexy.
If you were a camel, this would be porn.
Here are a few things I know:
- Accurate communication can be vitally important.
- Poor communication between myself and the husband-ish resulted in the Daisies and Shit domain name being
renewed (twice), without the Daisies and Shit hosting being renewed.
- I didn’t notice that the hosting had not been renewed until today, loooong after it expired.
- Everything that was stored on the original hosting servers has been wiped from those servers.
- People who backup their hosting files to personal storage are awesome.
- I am not awesome; at least not in the aforementioned sense.
I will spend a bit of time trying to harvest previous posts with the help of the Wayback Machine. After which, I will spend some time altering the recockulously ugly default blog design.
Thank you for your patience.